Venturing Out

When Tanesha asked me if I would be interested in writing for the Vancouver Island Doulas Collective blog, I was both excited and apprehensive. I've never done anything like this before! But venturing outside my comfort zone wasn't an idea I was against, so here I am. For better or for worse, I hope to share little snippits of my life as a stay-at-home parent to two little girls, Hannah (2.5) and Felicity (6 weeks). I was privileged to have Tanesha present for my second daughter's birth. Rather than reflecting for my first post, though, I wanted to share a little bit of what I do with my time on a day to day basis--learning how to communicate about elimination with a newborn baby.

Just for a bit of context, my 2.5yo DD was cloth diapered from the day she got home. I didn’t know much (if anything) about EC until she was a fair bit older. I thought about trying it, but never did. She is still fully diapered (much to my dismay). She is very stubborn (ah, just like her mama…) and it has really turned us off the prospect of ever going through potty learning again. That said, I still didn’t know if ECing would be for us. We are pretty “green” but it seemed like a hard thing to learn to me.

I have friends who have been ECing so with Felicity and the amount of support I had I thought I would try it. “Try” being the operative, I was not willing to invest more than $10 on the little tiny round potty bowl I bought from Continuum Family (a local business here in Victoria, and owned by my friend Deirdre). Not because I didn’t think it wasn’t a great thing to do, because I do, but I had serious doubts in myself and my ability to read my baby’s cues! I thought it was going to be way hard for me and my addled brain to figure out.

When Felicity was a couple weeks old the house got a bad cold virus that lasted a couple of weeks. Up to then we hadn’t really tried the potty, but with the rash I was keeping her out of diapers as much as I could. She was only in a diaper when she was sleeping in the wrap or mei tai or when we were out of the house. I tried everything I could to get rid of it--calendula, extra strength zincofax, LuSa bottom balm, Jack Newman’s all purpose nipple ointment…nothing worked! We didn’t realize that it was probably her tiny body fighting off the virus until the rest of us came down with the same bug, but it was enough time for us to realize that not only does she have sensitive skin, but that pottying was actually really easy.

I used my friend Deirdre’s suggestions of using the potty while she was nursing (they always go while they’re nursing at this age, it’s a reflex) and right after she wakes up. I’m pretty good at sitting the potty between my legs, her bottom in the potty, and getting her on the breast comfortably with my arm supporting her head and back. While she was going, I would make the cue sound, “psss”. She didn’t understand the cue at the beginning, but the goal of that was to teach her that this is what you’re doing, and this is a good time to do it. After a couple weeks of that, with Felicity now just over 6 weeks, if I sit her on the potty and “cue” her, she will go if she needs to.

Even just pottying her during those two times where I know she is likely to go (while nursing, after waking) has saved us countless diapers (cloth or disposable, it’s all one less to change!). She averages 3 naps a day, and nurses really frequently. It’s less laundry or less waste no matter how you slice it. To me, every success (which I celebrate with an exaggerated “good job!” and a big smile so she recognizes that the cue sound + eliminating = good!) is fantastic. Every miss is not a big deal--during the day she is largely a nudist but I keep myself (and my clothes) relatively safe by keeping a prefold under her bottom and often a change pad as well.

The biggest conclusion I’ve come to with EC is that it’s not as hard as I thought it would be, but it is a little more time, I’m sure, than just doing disposable diapers (I think it’s pretty comparable to cloth when you factor in the laundry and the more frequent changes than with sposies). Given that the potty cost us about $10 with tax, and that it saves me at least 5 diapers a day, I think it’s paid for itself ten times over--so I do think it’s worth it for just about anyone who has that little bit of time and inclination to give it a shot.

Now that we’re a little more committed to it, I went ahead and ordered some split crotch pants (and I also received a pair as a baby gift from Deirdre, which was wonderful, along with some EcaPants!). I’m also going to knit some, along with some leggings, and have already knit Felicity a little skirt she can wear for easy pottying. I will (when I get the chance) sew her up some panties as well.

In some ways, I suppose this post is about venturing outside one's "comfort zone" and trying something new. Is there anything you want to do that is outside yours? Why don't you give it a shot? The outcome might just surprise you!